The First day

Tell us about your first day at something — your first day of school, first day of work, first day living on your own, first day blogging, first day as a parent, whatever.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us BEGINNING.

How it be if a small boy was left in the jungle all alone? Well, I do not know the exact feeling but i was close. I was 12 years old when i was left in a hostel. My first feeling? I was nervous , i was afraid. It was the beginning of a journey that shaped me. And i owe everything to that moment when i landed there. ( in a car :P) The memory of the first day is like a clear fog in my mind , fragmented but clear. I had never thought of leaving my parents but there i was sort of feeling alone. At Least the first day. The only thing i took comfort was in the fact that there were other kids too, all my age and they looked equally afraid and perhaps more frightened than i was.  Little did i know that i would be spending the best phase of my life with those kids. The fog gets thinner as i revisit the memory, I remember sending my parents with a heavy heart. The innocent feeling of asking ” can you stay for 5 more minutes? ” and when that 5 minutes was over i wanted 5 more. And finally  after making them wait for half an hour they departed leaving me with a heavy heart. I didn’t understand their turmoil that time, i only had that nagging feeling that told me that they were leaving me because they had stopped loving me. But i now know that even they had taken a lot of courage and undergone the same difficulty i had felt when they were leaving me. And seeing the car fade into the distant road i had stood in the same place for 10 mins hoping they would come back and take me home. And when i realized that wasn’t going to happen  i strolled silently into my hostel. I made only  one friend that day and i roamed around with him searching new places and searching some courage within myself. When it time for bed i had gone silently whispering a night prayer my mother had taught me but one i cannot recall now.

Surprisingly i didn’t cry. I was in tears when i was safe inside my quilt but i remember telling myself that if i had cried that day then i would cry each successive night. And i didn’t. That little boy who searched courage in so many tiny situations then is still in me. Only the situations are complex and the stakes higher 😀 i was a kid then but i knew that if i had survived the first day then i would till the days to come. And yes! i did. Not for 1 year, not for 2 but for 7 years i have stayed in hostel and the best part is even now i want to. I like being independent, i like to doing things my way and i like the freedom where you can stay alone when you want to and meet your friends when ever you want to.

So if you are at the beginning of a new journey, sit back and relax a little. It’s just our first day. Its okay to be afraid, it’s okay to feel nervous. Just remember that fear drives some people where inspiration drives others. And if you can find courage in the moment you are really afraid then the courage will stay with you for your entire journey. I know it because i owe my courage to that small kid who had found some on his first day.

The Encounter

The night was dark and the fear that surrounded him was darker still. It was his first night outside his home. He couldn’t see properly but his tribe was given the blessing of having exceptionally sharp smell. With the confidence of a blooming adult and the innocence of a child he had decided he would venture out alone into the night. He was warned about the creatures that roamed the night yet fear was an emotion he hadn’t encountered until now. It formed a burning thirst up his throat and his adrenaline was high. Could he make it?

Just when he was near to his home he was struck with a strange sense of being seen. Was he being followed? He tried to focus and suddenly it moved. The creature must have been really big.  Panic struck his heart, he did something so foolish that it stayed him with for days to come.

“Boo”, he whispered slowly. It was still moving. Will he be killed? Oh god!

“BOOOOO!!!” he shouted. A dreadful stillness ensured. It had stopped moving.

“Leave me! Go Away! ” he shouted. The stillness was then broken with dreadful movement. “This is it” he thought. With a stoic silence he became ready to accept anything. The silence that followed next was more terrifying than any in his entire life. He wasn’t even sure if he was alive. It took all the little bravery he had found to open his tiny eyes. Wow!! He was alive.

He ran faster than ever before. He was home.

“Mama, I was nearly killed by a strange creature” said he with tears in his eyes.

She consoled him with the tenderness that was so inherent in her. “What happened, dear?” she enquired with a queer curiosity . And as he explained she gave him a large smile.

“That dear, is a cockroach. We eat it after its dead” she explained.

Eat? He wondered.  “Strange are the ways of nature” thought the little ant.

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Written for Trifecta : Week 101

Super Seven

Khalil Gibran once said that people will never understand one another unless language is reduced to seven words. What would your seven words be?

Wow! Everyone of us have a lucky number and mine just happens to be seven. I have often wondered why and the answer always has eluded me. My favourite football player wears 7. Yes! its a brand now. CR7 ( Cristiano Ronaldo) . And now to actually describe the seven words gives me a feeling of sevenish nostalgia.

  •  Love – We wouldn’t have born without love , could we? Everyone is  born with the feeling of wanting to be loved. And that is what makes us what we are. No person would understand another if love hadn’t touched them in some way. (Am i in love?)
  • Care- I often wonder is care a synonym for love? If you have wondered the same thing there you go. I loved to be cared. And i care if i am being loved or not. (Simple right ? )
  • True – Hang on! Am not talking boolean logic. Being true to myself and to the people who love and believe in me is so crucial that i can sum up what i am. I am always true.
  • Believe – I believe in myself.  I believe in living life by the some ideals. Ideals you set for yourself and stay by them.
  • Awesome – I spontaneously appreciate something creative by this word. (Oh! Creative)
  • Creative – No word excites me as this one. I love to be creative. Just as i love all forms of awesome creativity. (Awesome!!)
  • Thank you.

Broken

He loved, he cared, he hurt

In the morning, in the night

She fought hard not to be upset

For she knew he loved, he cared

 

The day came unannounced

He was hurt, he was broken

She knew the turmoils disturbed

And yet she tried not to fret

 

She was hurt, she was broken

The turmoils grew and distance widened

Glasses of tears flowed

He loved more, he healed

 

He wasn’t there all the time

Caught in the mad web of broken, love and care

She cried, she forgave

Being broke only made her love more.

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Written for Daily Prompt: Breakdown

The Dirt in Life

When one of my friend asked me what do i mean by, when telling ” the dirt reminds me of people’s problems” it got thinking! We have all seen dirt around us.Be it the ones lying on our roads, in front of a shop, by a park, everywhere. Sometimes we see it everyday and yet we either ignore it or pretend it’s not there. So if dirt equals the problems we face in our life then we intuitively tend to deal with it the same way we would have dealt with the real dirt in life.

So that makes three category of people who would approach problems in the same way they would approach dirt.( not necessarily)  We are all unique remember!! Coming to the categories-

  •  Ignore – We acknowledge the problems we face and we ignore it. Either it comes due to an attitude of pretending not to care or we really don’t care. Or we tend to think that it’s too much of a burden to even acknowledge the problem. In short we ignore our problems.
  •   Ignorant – We lack the awareness of the problem.  We don’t recognize some aspect of our life or our relationship is turning into a potential problem. Basically we are ignorant of the problem or the potential threat that would turn into one.
  • Postpone- Most of would fall into this. We acknowledge our problems, we know we have to correct it and yet we postpone taking action. The fact that we know that a problem or problems is bothering us and draining our positive energy is proof enough that we can try and get rid of it. Either we tell ourselves the time isn’t right(it never really is.) or we tell ourselves that this can be done later no harm in doing it so. Or in the worst of case we expect other people to come and clean it.

I know it really isn’t possible to go on cleaning the dirt we see everywhere but we can at least try to with the one’s around us, physically around us. Or at the least clean the problems in life. This analogy remainds me of a movie i had seen “The Golden Compass” where dust from the universe affects man. It might be only fiction there but yes, dust does affect us in numerous ways. So does the dirt and problems in life. But the most important thing would be to solve it and move on. Remember we are always bigger than our problems and at any point in life we can deal with them if we choose to.  If you are caught in one and decide strongly to solve it, you are already in the halfway of completely solving it. But remember never to lose hope. I leave you all with a favorite quote of mine.

” If you break your neck,if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you have got a problem. Rest all is inconvenience.”  – Robert Fulghum

Solitude

The nature

Is all for your self

To venture out

With your inner self

 

All I do is just to stare

To have the beauty in my heart bare

Who ever told staring was hopeless

Against beauty matchless

 

The glorious sun did shine

It’s penetrating gaze all mine

And the silent moon did speak

With me and the peak

 

The peak like a stone

Stood all alone

Ripped up, by us all

In its own solitary hall

 

As I march to join it

I know my life’s lit

To find a peace so profound

Its every meaning escapes sound

 

Solitude at night

Shines so bright

It takes me to a distant land

To give me a friend’s hand.

 

The fair breeze blew

My boundless joy flew

I cried out in sheer delight

As I took the timeless flight

 

I landed by the stream

To see white slivery cream

Joy flowed there like a treasure

Its meaning never measured

 

There I met a maiden fair

Beauty flowed in her every hair

In her eyes, I saw an enigmatic pool.

Where even fire burnt cool

 

Each day our friendship grew

Alas! Its meaning understood to few

Her every sight moved me

Nevertheless I thank thee

 

The maiden was my heart, my very own

Bound with joy in my gown

Your hearts your greatest gift

In joy and sorrow you together drift

 

Solitude benevolently did shower

Joys of immortal flower

This large entire creation

Is beauty’s perfect manifestation